With that forceful wind,
Driven yet unseen.
An illusion that seems far,
One night in Marina.

Gone with the wind,

in delight the sunbirds sing.

Yes or no to befriend,

in a cluster of fiends.

Cherish and hope I may,

before my heartstrings fray.

Just a year or more,

then again I set out to explore.

Yet another Christmas has gone by. My gosh I’m getting old.

Well basically everyone in my family is revamping their rooms. Its unfair, I don’t have any new furnishings due to the small space. Oh..I think my room has really bad feng-shui. There are like 3 blades/swords in my room now. Tsk.

Ok this entry is of utter nonsense. Bye

A new chapter unfolds in my scintillating adventure of life. Mr Eng is now on course to be a SAF Lifeguard. Apart from the damned journey to camp, I’m pretty satisfied with this vocation. After all I’ve always feel connected and a part of the water, and it gives me a chance to even out my singlet tan!

My chest feels heavy these days. I’ve never felt an emptiness this vast in my heart before. I’m confused as to how I stand in everyone’s lives. I need an escape badly, I really do. God hear my cry, grant this wish for me. You have no idea how much it will mean to me.

And so it has been. A quick glance over the shoulder brought me reminiscing the good ol’ days in that secluded lagoon. A knock on the head and a quick slingshot slipped me back into reality.

A soldier of Singapore, a pawn of a war-chess game. This phase has disconnected me from almost everyone and the outside world. Yet, it has taught me to relish and embrace my humble family. Now, all I can do is to listen and watch. But as I continue to watch the world go by, it feels like the stake just went in an inch deeper in my heart. The people whom I treasure unexpectedly leave, well not all, but it still ain’t a small number. God has prepared me though, because I’m glad I have a father who understands my interests, my passion and my meaning of life. Backpack nestling on my back, a trusty companion slung over my neck. I will see the world.

Confident I may seem, but I’ve met another moat. Who will it be at the end? Who will it be that will see the world with me? My worthy friends? A stranger along the course? Or the person that melted my heart? Or will I be alone? All I can do is to pray, and pray.

Behold the sexiest woman alive.

Four dreadful years it has been, with the exception of one high note; the beautiful Phi Phi Don. It seems as though that was the defining last moment before everyone jotted their priorities. I took the time to weigh my priorities down, despite knowing for the fact that it would describe the term “polar opposites” right down to the last damn letter. 

I absolutely loathe people mentioning the abomination of a phrase “People change”. What the fuck. Its their only pathetic attempt on salvaging some pride and dignity. People don’t change, its their priorities and WANTS that obliged them to freely do so. Its once again mankind’s outrageous selfishness that oblige them to do so. I refuse to disclose any names in particular, because I still have my last wavering respect for them. 

Sigh. You know what. I love to sigh. 4 simple letters, 1 word. But if your friend is true, he/she will be able to decipher and understand the terrible weight of meaning and thoughts in that one very sigh. Its like magic, pity to say not many are able to experience that, not many are blessed with true friends. There you go, a fucking bitch slap in your fucking face.

Sigh, there and back again. Its still you and me babe and perhaps a few other elements. Hair ruffling in the cold night breeze, vastness in the welcoming space. Kisses of smoke rings to the stars.

And I’m glad to tell the lord that I’m back in my ghostly shell.

Because He himself, he knew he saw. How I fell.

Subtle it was. A soul discharge it was.

Nonetheless. Neutiquam Erro. By no means am I lost.

A new alias for lunch buddy is eventually required. Redefining the lingo “LOL” in the office doesn’t do it justice as to the funniest shit I’ve heard for a few months. And to think it all started with a bunch of gossipy working aunties and a read-out-loud text. 

Thanks man. For making my day. Now its time to neon-trify the house down on Saturday. Bring on the fro!

Time is eroding at a sloth’s pace this week. To add to the brink full of misery, a chunk of flesh came off my finger while cutting out and mounting advertisements. My only partner in the loser club has deserted me to chao geng for two days. I’m decomposing at a very fast rate now. God bless for facebook and itunes. They are the new Gods.

I’m still fucking thinking. Oh I forgot to mention, my morale just went rock bottom. Some idiot of a person mentioned that I look gay. I hope shouting across Plaza Singapura changed that perspective. Jang-jang-jaaaaang.

Bugger off.